Feeling like you have lost the best years of your life? Read this

So, I turn 31 soon. It’s like my twenties disappeared and I never felt like I really lived them. I felt like I lost the “best years of my life”.

Since being 20, I was in a constant cycle of abandoning myself to fit someone else’s narrative, to avoid their criticism, and shaming the parts of me that were deemed unworthy. I believed there was something wrong with me, I hid parts of myself that had been criticised and shamed,  I was too sensitive, too dramatic, too much and not enough all at the same time. Time just disappeared living for my ex, for my son (who I had at 23), and I never lived for me.

In my path towards, understanding myself, I noticed a grief towards the life I wished I had and could have had. I was grieving the idea that I had lost the best years of my life. But, I realised something – the best years of your life are when you are feeling your best.

We’re bombarded with societal expectations dictating when we should be at our peak, when we should have it all figured out, and when we should be living our best lives. But what if I told you that the best years of your life aren’t defined by society’s standards? What if I told you that the best years are the ones where you feel your best, regardless of what stage of life you’re in?

It wasn’t until I embarked on a journey of self-discovery and personal growth that I began to challenge these preconceived notions. Through therapy, creative expression, and deep introspection, I realised that the best years of my life weren’t confined to my youthful years. They were the moments when I felt truly alive, when I was aligned with my authentic self, and when I prioritised my well-being above societal expectations. When I chose to live for myself!

For me, consistently checking in with this idea is so important because that empty feeling of loss can creep up at any moment.

We can talk about the idea that true fulfilment doesn’t come from ticking off boxes on a predetermined checklist of accomplishments. But, saying this doesn’t automatically help in this loss. Leaning into embracing the messy, unpredictable journey of life and finding joy in the small moments along the way can transform this loss into the best years of your life. Opening yourself to finally cultivating meaningful relationships, pursuing passions that ignite your soul, and prioritising self-care without guilt or apology.

So if you’re feeling weighed down, and feeling like you have lost your youth. I urge you to repeat to yourself “The best years of your life are when YOU are feeling your best”. Embrace the idea that the best years of your life are the ones where you’re living authentically, where you’re prioritising your mental, emotional, and physical well-being, and where you’re unapologetically allowing all the parts of you to exist.

Let’s define our best by the moments when we feel most alive, most fulfilled, and most true to ourselves. Let’s offer love to the idea we have wasted precious time, and now, seize the opportunity to redefine success on our own terms. After all, life is too short.